Now I [G] know I’m not [E7] handsome, [A7] no good looks or wealth
But the [D7] girls I chase say my plain face will [G] compromise their health.
Now I [G] know fellows worse than [E7] me bow-[A7] legged and boss-eyed
[A7] Walking out with lovely women clinging to their [D7] side.
Now if [G] women like them like men like those,
[G] why don’t [D7] women like [G] me?
[C] Look at Empress Jose[D7]phine,
the [A7] most attractive women that ever was [D7] seen,
[G] Yet Napoleon short and [E7] fat,
[A7] captivates a lovely looking dame like [D7] that
Now if [G] women like them like men like those –
[A7] why don’t [D7] women like [G] me?
Hey, hey, [A7] why don’t women like [G] me?
Last [G] night I went I out walking, my [A7] intentions were to click
But the [D7] sights I saw while walking out, they [G] nearly made me sick.
I must admit I saw some [E7] girls, [A7] attractive little dears
Arm in arm with ugly men with [D7] cauliflower ears.
Now if [G] women like them like men like those –[A7] why don’t [D7] women like [G] me?
[C] What can the [G] attraction be, [A7] that’s the thing that always starts to worry [G] me.
Al[G]though I haven’t got a [E7] bean, I’ve [A7] got a lot of things that girls haven’t [D7] seen.
Now if [G] women like them like men like those – [A7] why don’t [D7] women like me?
Hey, [E7] hey, [A7] why don’t [D7] women like [G] me? [D7]
Now I [G] went for my holidays down [A7] to the gay seaside,
I saw a lot of [D7] things there being [G] hidden by the tide.
The way some women [E7] jumped a[A7]round the man there in the sea
Made me think that there is still a good [D7] chance left for me.
‘Cause if [G] women like them like men like those, [A7] why don’t [D7] women like [G] me
Now if [G] women like them like men like those, [A7] why don’t [D7] women like [G] me?
[C] Take Lord Nelson with [G] one limb, [A7] Lady William Hamilton she fell for [D7] him.
With [G] one eye and one arm gone [E7] west,
She [A7] ran like the devil and she grabbed the [D7] rest.
Now if [G] women like them like men like those,
[A7] why don’t [D7] women like [G] me?
Hey, [E7] hey – why don’t [D7] women like [G] me? [D7] [G]
